Restaurant Man:
No please no
Not tonight please no
Mister - can't you go -
Not tonight - can't have a scene
Roger:
What?
Restaurant Man:
Go, please go;
You - Hello, sir -
I said, "No"
Important customer
Mark:
What am I - just a blur?
Restaurant Man:
You sit all night - you never buy!
Mark:
That's a lie - that's a lie
I had a tea the other day
Restaurant Man:
You couldn't pay
Mark:
Oh yeah
Collins:
Benjamin Coffin III -- here?
Restaurant Man:
Oh no!
All:
Wine and beer!
Maureen:
The enemy of Avenue A
We'll stay
Restaurant Man:
Oiy vey!
Collins:
What brings the mogul in his own mind to the Life Cafe?
Benny:
I would like to propose a toast
To Maureen's noble try
It went well
Maureen:
Go to hell
Benny:
Was the yuppie scum stomped
Not counting the homeless
How many tickets weren't comped
Roger:
Why did Muffy --
Benny:
Alison
Roger:
Miss the show?
Benny:
There was a death in the family
If you must know
Angel:
Who died?
Benny:
Our Akita
Benny, Mark, Angel, Collins:
Evita
Benny:
Mimi - I'm surprised
A bright and charming girl like you
Hangs out with these slackers
(Who don't adhere to deals)
They make fun - yet I'm the one
Attempting to do some good
Or do you really want a neighborhood
Where people piss on your stoop every night?
Bohemia, Bohemia's
A fallacy in your head
This is Calcutta
Bohemia is dead
Mark:
Dearly beloved we gather here to say our goodbyes
Collins & Roger:
Dies irae - dies illa
Kyrie eleison
Yitgadal v' yitkadash (etc)
Mark:
Here she lies
No one knew her worth
The late great daughter of mother earth
On this night when we celebrate the birth
In that little town of Bethlehem
We raise our glass - you bet your ass to -
La vie Boheme
All:
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
Mark:
To days of inspiration
Playing hookey, making something out of nothing
The need to express -
To communicate,
To going against the grain,
Going insane
Going mad
To loving tension, no pension
To more than one dimension,
To starving for attention,
Hating convention, hating pretension
Not to mention of course,
Hating dear old mom and dad
To riding your bike,
Midday past the three piece suits
To fruits - to no absolutes -
To Absolut - to choice -
To the Village Voice -
To any passing fad
To being an us for once- instead of a them
All:
La vie Boheme
La vie Boheme
Maureen:
Is the equipment in a pyramid?
Joanne:
It is, Maureen
Maureen:
The mixer doesn't have a case
Don't give me that face
Mr. Grey:
Ahhemm
Maureen:
Hey Mister - she's my sister
Restaurant Man:
So that's five miso soup, four seaweed salad
Three soy burger dinner, two tofu dog platter
And one pasta with meatless balls
Roger:
Ew
Collins:
It tastes the same
Mimi:
If you close your eyes
Restaurant Man:
And thirteen orders of fries
Is that it here?
All:
Wine and beer!
Mimi & Angel:
To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries
To yoga, to yogurt, to rice and beans and cheese
To leather, to dildos, to curry vindaloo
To huevos rancheros and Maya Angelou
Maureen & Collins:
Emotion, devotion, to causing a commotion
Creation, vacation
Mark:
Mucho masturbation
Maureen & Collins:
Compassion, to fashion, to passion when it's new
Collins:
To Sontag
Angel:
To Sondheim
Four People:
To anything taboo
Collins & Roger:
Ginsberg, Dylan, Cunningham and Cage
Collins:
Lenny Bruce
Roger:
Langston Hughes
Maureen:
To the stage
Person #1:
To Uta
Person #2:
To Buddha
Person #3:
Pablo Neruda, too
Mark & Mimi:
Why Dorothy and Toto went over the rainbow
To blow off Auntie Em
All:
La vie Boheme
Maureen:
And wipe the speakers off before you pack
Joanne:
Yes, Maureen
Maureen:
Well - hurry back
Mr. Grey:
Sisters?
Maureen:
We're close
Angel, Collins, Maureen, Mark, Mr. Grey:
Brothers!
Mark, Angel, Mimi & Three Others:
Bisexuals, trisexuals, homo sapiens,
Carcinogens, hallucinogens, men, Pee Wee Herman
German wine, turpentine, Gertrude Stein
Antonioni, Bertolucci, Kurosawa
Carmina Burana
All:
To apathy, to entropy, to empathy, ecstasy
Vaclav Havel - The Sex Pistols, 8BC,
To no shame - never playing the Fame Game
Collins:
To marijuana
All:
To sodomy,
It's between God and me
To S & M
Benny:
Waiter...Waiter...Waiter
All:
La vie Boheme
Collins:
In honor of the death of Bohemia an impromptu salon will
commence immediately following dinner...Mimi Marquez clad only in bubblewrap, will perform her famous lawn chair-
handcuff dance to the sounds of iced tea being stirred.
Roger:
Mark Cohen will preview his new documentary about his
inability to hold an erection on high holy days.
Mark:
Maureen Johnson, back from her spectacular one-night engagement at the eleventh street lot, will sing native american tribal chants backwards through her vocoder, while accompanying herself on the electric cello - which she has never studied.
Benny:
Your new boyfriend doesn't know about us?
Mimi:
There's nothing to know
Benny:
Don't you think that we should discuss --
Mimi:
It was three months ago
Benny:
He doesn't act like he's with you
Mimi:
We're taking it slow
Benny:
Where is he now?
Mimi:
He's right -- hmm
Benny:
Uh huh
Mimi:
Where'd he go?
Mark:
Roger will attempt to write a bittersweet, evocative song.
(Roger picks up a guitar and plays)
That doesn't remind us of "Musetta's Waltz"
Collins:
Angel Dumott Schunard will now model the latest fall fashions
from Paris while accompanying herself on the 10 gallon plastic
pickle tub.
Angel:
And Collins will recount his exploits as an anarchist -
including the successful reprogramming of the M.I.T.
virtual reality equipment to self-destruct, as it broadcast
the words:
All:
"Actual reality - Act Up - Fight AIDS"
Benny:
Check!!
Mimi:
Excuse me - did I do something wrong?
I get invited - then ignored - all night long
Roger:
I've been trying - I'm not lying
No one's perfect. I've got baggage
Mimi:
Life's too short, babe, time is flying
I'm looking for baggage that goes with mine
Roger:
I should tell you --
Mimi:
I've got baggage too
Roger:
I should tell you --
Mimi:
I got baggage too
Roger:
I should tell you --
Both:
Baggage - wine --
Others:
And beer!
Mimi:
AZT break
Roger:
You?
Mimi:
Me. You?
Roger:
Mimi