Music Hub
Advertisement

by MC Paul Barman

Customers shopped.
Discussioners stopped.
A rich man stepped to the clerk, busting her chops.

He said, "I make more green than algae.
Loop-de-loops with ice cream scoops now are just nostalgia.
I got coops of well-fed pheasants.
I made my web presence on the backs of dead peasants.
I got all types of cash and I'll talk trash
Like a hyperspazz 'til my mouth catches diaper rash."
Then he left.

She thought, "Can a man remain posh without being brainwashed?
Is it really all web sites, tennis whites, and playing squash?
What a jerk, was he trying to flirt?"
As the clerk got back to work, another guy went berserk.
A crazy guy with a paisley tie and one glass and one lazy eye came in.
His brain was spongy grade D lunch meat held together with a scrunchy.
(Wait till you find out what he said!)

He said, "If y'all are so destitute,
How come you're dressed so cute?
Sometimes it's best to toot my own horn
About my idiosyncrasies.
I video pink pussies.
I shoot my own porn.
'Cuz it's wrong to rape a slut.
It's wrong to penetrate the paper-cut
Where an origami truck scraped her butt.
I'm pacing and passionate because my cupcake had hash in it.
Look, a dopey fairy is chasing a doggy topiary.
I'm'a help her with catching it! I'm out of here."

The clerk, she just rolled her eyes.
You could say he told her lies
But she'll let any old tramp in.
Nothing sold is no surprise and they're lamping
At the Anarchist Bookstore.

As the clerk worked on a blurb about herb,
Another berserker jumped in off the curb,
Wearing a metal mask. "May I help you?" she, unsettled, asked.
He said, "Outside there's an army of Metal faces
And in several cases they're ready to dead all shtetl places.
This is it. Adults'll need protection." 
She said, "Yeah, but what changes when you're done?
Nothing. Like the results of an election."
He said, "Oh so I should just call it off?
Go back to the house, douse the Molotov?"
She said, "You want to set our city in flames
Because you're full of pity and blame.
You just want the freedom to sit at home and play videogames.
Maybe we could drain some ingrained aggression
If you came for a training session."
He said, "I don't want to volunteer.
I'm calling y'all in here to splash some sack
And smash the Mac and get outside. It's action-packed.
I don't know if you are but all of you look poor.
Now let's leave
The Anarchist Bookstore."
(Who cooks for you all?)
Advertisement